bloody mary's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] bloody mary [ website | my deadjournal ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

eh. [03 Feb 2002|11:39pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground ] sorry about not posting much in here. I've grown to liking my deadjournal far too much... maybe because i've felt dead. not "live". johnny had a spell today, and smashed a lot of the glasses in the kitchen. i took the opportunity to stock up on broken glass. and that broken glass is calling me now. 1 crackhead | use some crack

[25 Jan 2002|04:43pm] [ mood | horny ] i've been so fucked up. oh sweet mother mary i've been fucked up. apparently, johnny's got himself a snake. i didn't remember this when i woke up on the kitchen floor this afternoon. there was a large puddle of bourbon with a snake sleeping in it. i understood the bourbon, but not the snake. i feel like fucking. i've no one to fuck. bloody fucking ocean. use some crack

fuck [20 Jan 2002|12:56pm] [ mood | high ] i am so fucking wasted. i got blood all over the kitchen floor. i'm going to go sit on the roof. use some crack

i posted this in my deadjournal, too [20 Jan 2002|03:27am] [ mood | distressed ] johnny's friend, freddy 'x', is a good man. he sold me a very large quantity of meth, a large quantity of quite pure crack, and a smaller though still large quantity of smack. i just smoked some of the ice, and will make good use of the rest soon. it's snowing here. very pretty. it's all.. white. hah. i love money. i miss spider. i know, i was fucking stupid when i was with him, but that was my fault, not his. johnny hates him, and mum and daddy hate him, and jimmy's a faggot, but i'm lonely. i haven't gone this long without fucking since the last time i was here. god i miss him. i'm thinking about killing myself. maybe i should take some smack, and just shoot up two bloody fucking grams. that'd be a wonderful way to die, with a needle hanging out of my arm, slouched over on the side of my fucking bed. oh, god, in my gloomy fucking bedroom. everything's bloody BLACK in here, i painted half the fucking room black after i got back. it's damn depressing. i should make johnny let me sleep on his couch. or go sleep in the street, with the fucking snow. but i don't want to sleep, either. i feel like dying. i couldn't do that to them, though, not right now. mum and daddy think i'm doing great, all drugless and happy, when i'm really not. i should go back to england, i really wish i could, go see spider again and apologise for all the shit i've done to him, hope he'll take me back. god, i love him so much. my stupid bloody head hurts. i'm going to go make myself bleed. i really need it. use some crack

oh shit shit shit [19 Jan 2002|09:09pm] [ mood | depressed ] i ate two gallons of ice cream. wait, no, one gallon. two cartons. ugh. i haven't eaten so much... ever. i think. ew. i kicked my brother's ass. the shitty one. the good brother, johnny, he's ranting and raving about that old show clangers. i hope he shuts up soon, he's bloody scaring me. THEY WERE STUFFED RATS. ugh. i'm going to go die. or vomit. or something. COCAINE! YES! use some crack

108 flavours [19 Jan 2002|05:12pm] oh hell. mum and jimmy ended up going food-shopping. and jimmy is a douchebag, so he cried and threw temper-tantrums until mum got TEN GALLLONS OF ICE CREAM. TEN BLOODY FUCKING GALLONS OF ICE CREAM. that's twenty half-gallons. we have twenty cartons of ice cream. I HAVE A FREEZER LITERALLY FULL OF NOTHING BUT ICE CREAM. one of the fridges in the basement, where we keep all the cans of soda, had nothing in the freezer. now it's full of ice cream. and there's others in other places. they are all different flavours. 20 different flavours of ice cream. maybe they're conspiring to make me gain weight. i weigh about six pounds. it's really disgusting, it's 'cos of all the drugs. i'm the most disgusting-looking person. i'm bony with scars all over my arms. oh yes, i'd like to sleep with me. anyway. yes, i have a new source for 'medicine'... thanks johnny. use some crack

'ey. [19 Jan 2002|03:18pm] [ mood | annoyed ] god, my family is arguing over the most idiotic thing ever. what flavour ice cream to get. bloody hell, people. just get all of the ones you want. WE HAVE THE MONEY. 1 crackhead | use some crack

"dust-off is a serious product." [17 Jan 2002|04:22pm] [ mood | hungry ] it says that on a can. i like drugs. a lot. thanks johnny. use some crack

THEY all did it [12 Jan 2002|01:58pm] [ mood | amused ] [spell your name backwards]: rogergcm nelle yram [describe yourself in 3 words]: fucked-up, crazy, gothic [what is the latest you've ever stayed up?]: oh, god, it could've been months... [ever been to belgium?]: no. it's gross. [wallet]: money? me? what? [wallet contents?] no wallet, no money. no woman, no cry. [jewelry worn daily]: more than i can list here. [pillow cover]: black velvet. with me, everything is black velvet [blanket]: black velvet. [glasses]: no. [underwear]: black, black, black, some maroon. [favourite top]: my new corset. Hot Topic is a holy land. [favourite pants]: black leather, baby. [cd in stereo right now]: something classical. [wearing]: see above. corset, leather. too much jewelry. [hair]: crimson, curly, long. [makeup]: black. how many times do i have to say it? [in my mouth]: some random bloke's cock! my tounge, dumbass. [in my head]: i don't think there's anything left [wishing]: i could be HAPPY [after this]: um. [talking to]: johnny and amy [eating]: human flesh. nothing. use some crack

Amy is the BEST! [12 Jan 2002|01:55pm] [ mood | ditzy ] Lookie what my lil brother's girlfriend did for this thingy! It's so pretty! Amy, I love you. use some crack

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